It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and that’s not always a good thing for me. I still write but I really need to keep this up because I owe it to myself first and to my readers who stop by looking for what I have to say or what I might be thinking. Perhaps we are thinking the same thing and want someone to commiserate with.Also,let’s face it, we like to be in each other’s business and sometimes I don’t mind that. There has been so much going on in this world that for me, trying to absorb it all is much too much for my sensitive nature. I tend to sense and feel everything that goes on around me and the world. With the news and media constantly pushing forward to be heard and seen, especially seen,I sometimes need to tune it out.So, I guess that’s where I’ve been trying to reinforce the positive and let go or travel away  from so much of the negative. Now I’m not saying that everything in the world is negative. I know there’s good even for those who don’t want to see, accept and feel it. I want to feel the good. To rest and revel in it.Hell sometimes wallow in it. I’m not sure if wallow is a word. I know I’ve heard it said. I’ll have to check the dictionary before I leave it in this blog. If it stays then you know that it’s a word.

I had the joy and pleasure to experience a great and very special union on June 2nd 2013. First of all, let me be honest, my first response to that date (because it was on a Sunday) was who in the hell get’s married on a Sunday in the afternoon, in upstate NY when folks who live in NYC have to get back down there and be at work the next morning? (I’m smiling as I write that.) Anyway the union of Van, my very dear, loving,fun,caring,fabulous friend to Bill my brother in-law of sorts because when you’re gay you can make your own family. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Well that’s what Bill became to me when he and Van were married on Sunday June 2nd 2013. Now here’s some more honesty. I’m not much for weddings. I can count on one and half hands the number of weddings I’ve been to. I swear they are long and dragged out “isn’t it time to throw the flowers out to the congregation so we can get the hell up out of here cause we been here all day!” Over time I’ve wondered why I’ve felt that way. It’s only now that I’ve come to realize why. It’s because I was born gay and I could not be married legally, in the eyes of the law. The world would not recognize me as a married person. Van and Bill were married in a church in upstate NY by a minister. Here’s a bit more honesty. When I arrived at the chapel with my friends Dwayne and Desmond,we were almost hit by lighting. That’s not a joke. A bolt and jolt of thunder and lighting rang out as we and others were about to walk into the church which made us duck for cover. Silly as it was, because of what the world has told me, “look, see that’s the Lord talking.” I told you! silliness, such stupidity as I sit here and write this. The church, the service, the people, the love and let’s never forget the love that filled the church was magical.When the ceremony was over, all of us,(gay, straight, young, old, black, white, male and female) walked out of that church to the fresh smell of a late spring rain that had slowly passed into sunshine. The universe had truly smiled down on this union.

The reception was held at their upstate home-getaway,(summer winter retreat) Which was within walking distance from the church. It was a reception filled with people,the couple of course, their parents, and other family members, guest and dates.You know the scene. We ate, we laughed, we made toasts, gave speeches, made more toasts, expressed our feelings and hope for a long and prosperous lasting love. Van and Bill  talked about how they met, the reason why the universe brought them together and why they decided to marry. It’s the same reason why anyone wants to get married! Because these two consenting adults love each other and want to spend what ever time they have together on this planet as one-together. So that no one, no thing, and nothing could tell them that they couldn’t show their love for one another. When the music started, the dancing began and the guest were shaking there butts and feeling the music and loving one another. The newlyweds Van and Bill jumped on the floor and did their wedding dance. It was sweet and you could see the love in their eye’s and the need for Bill to say “thank God’s that’s over!’ A little shyness in Bill makes him cute. The thing that touched me the most and belive me I was touched by a lot of beautiful things that wedding day, was when Van’s father waltzed onto the floor to dance with his son. I can still see the look on both of their faces. It still chokes me up. This man, this father was celebrating his son marrying the person he had chosen to go through life with, to love and cherish world without end. It was and still is the most loving thing that I took away from the wedding. I was also moved by the conversations that I had with other human beings – for the sake of labeling people, I’ll say “straight people.” One on of those straight person’s was Bill’s cousin. He said to me and my friend Dwayne. “I don’t know why people don’t get it. What’s even to get? When you love you just love. I love my girlfriend and people don’t question it. I’m just glad to be here to help celebrate my cousin and I’m happy that he has found someone to love and who loves him.” I looked at this enlightened straight man and smiled. I thanked him too. I acknowledge him here, even though he’ll never know that (or perhaps he will). I acknowledge the other straight folk old and young who chose to accept that love is love. Dwayne,Desmond and I left at 7pm, much longer than I thought I would stay. In leaving I felt like I was leaving family members, even though I had met most of them for the first time. I even told Dwayne that I look forward to the next family reunion. The loving couple are returning from their honeymoon this week. I can’t wait to hear about it.

In this week of Gay Pride with the Supreme Courts decisions on DOMA and prop 8 looming, while we wait for our government to decide our love and how it can be shown and how we are to live our lives as consenting adults, I say enough already! It’s time to wake up. Do we allow them to push us backwards or do we as a people both gay and straight stand up and speak for ourselves and say we shall not and no longer be told who we are and what we are to do. We know! Let’s us love and be loved. That is our God Given Right. Congratulations Bill and Van.

Love,

James Pearson