The moments that I spend with myself are very special even precious. It gives me time to just be quiet. Most people who know me think that it allows me to hear my own thoughts but that is not so true – sometimes I don’t like my own thoughts which is why I spend time with me. I don’t have to listen to me.  I can however be free to simply shut out all thoughts and when I come back from the me time, it allows me to hear the world, my friends, my neighbor, the person behind the deli counter and even the train conductor. What I am saying is that it allows me to listen.

I learn a lot from listening and most of the time I don’t have to respond. You get my full attention and that makes not only me feel good but the person who is trying to get their message across knows he’s been heard.

Recently I was finding that I was not getting enough me time. That’s because I have this wonderful, very special and loving person in my life and in spending time with him, I’ve been looking for that balance. I think that I have achieved that balance because I’m writing my blog right now and sharing it with you – my reader’s.

I spent this Memorial week-end in New Hope PA with my partner.  It is such a calming, beautiful, artsy and awe-inspiring place with a wonderful mix of gay and gay friendly folk. I live for gay friendly folk (more on that in my next blog). It was in New Hope that I found that I could balance the love and attention that I must give my partner like he gives me and I could have some me time as well while with him. It’s because I rallied for it. I told him that there are times that I just become quiet, that I need to be quiet with just me even when I am with him and guess what he heard me!  Imagine that your partner hearing you and complying with your request.  Perhaps he was able to hear me because I was able to listen to him from hours and days of spending time with me and learning about myself and who I am and knowing that I must have me time.

  Now how do I do me time? Well for me, me time can be a hot bath with lots of bath oils and bath salts. I lay out  fragrant candles on the floor and choose some  music and I just let the bubbles take me away. That is my most favorite me time. Now there are others of course. In my living room sitting in my rocking chair in complete silence. Sitting under a tree in Central Park.  Taking a walk at night and choosing to only see the moon and the stars above. Doing all these things gives me a chance to breathe, just breathe. It’s my total escape, me time it’s my pause for a moment of silence.

James Pearson