Joan Rivers Tribute – A laugh heard around the world!

I arrive in heaven and who’s standing at the door God, St. Peter? – NO Johnny Carson! Yesss! I think how sweet he’s waiting for me, to greet me right?? NO he tells me he’s waiting for Jay Leno – YES!!! He’s doing late night up here in heaven. Can you believe it! He’s waiting on Jay so that he can fill in for him. He’s been needing some time off. So it’s heaven right putting the past behind me I say to him – I’ll do it until he gets here!  Johnny : Well I guess that’s alright but as soon as he arrives you’re out of here! YESSSS!! Nothing ever changes!

So I’m walking around heaven and I see a sign overhead. The sign  says Jewish Heaven and Christian Heaven. Yeah I know separation even in heaven! So of course I walk over to where? Yes,  the Jewish heaven and who is there? Now I know the bitch is Christian but there she stands with and entire Brisket in her hand – Elizabeth Taylor! YESSSS! I couldn’t believe it. “Joan darling welcome! There is so much more food on this side of heaven and Joan please No fat jokes up here!” She says sucking down that Brisket – Are you fucking kidding me!!!  I look over see a roasted lamb shankbone on the table I pick it up and chase her out of Jewish heaven. She takes off running but not before she grabs some matzoh, and just as she’s about to cross over to Christian Heaven she snatches the Lamb shankbone out of my hand!

Yeah – So it’s like a who’s who of celebrity’s up here in heaven.  Whitney Houston, Ruby Dee, Casey Kasem, James Brown – yes can you believe  it James Brown – He’s constantly walking around here saying “say it loud ,– I’m black and I’m proud. You know that Michael Jackson has always Idolized him. So I’m standing here in heaven talking to James Brown and who moon walks over?  Hi Joan – he say’s all sweet and Michael Jackson sounding but I’m not too sure. I say hello because I don’t really recognize him. “He’s Black!”

Okay – Shut Up. I have one more – Robin Williams says to me Joan Darling look at you! You’re looking fabulous as usual!  Looks like we both bit the big one! I look at him – Is he out of his fucking mind! I died!! — Ohhh shhh! Shut Up too soon!!

A mere imitation of Joan Rivers! What is it that they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery!  Once I’m able to fine tune them maybe they’d sound more like Joan Rivers. Someone wrote on their Facebook  page that she’s up there making them laugh. Well that might be true but she was down here longer and she left more than a lifetime of laughter. I miss her something fierce. Allow me a little bragging rights for a moment. I got to meet Joan (very briefly) It was early morning in New York and I was coming out of Penn Station and there she stood in all her fabulousness with her grandson, as her chauffeur was putting their luggage into the car. I said hello Joan – like I knew her and it felt like I did. She waved and said “Hello darling.” I had died and gone to heaven.

I have been a fan of this lady since I was a child. I even wrote an article about her in my local hometown paper. It was so long ago I don’t even remember what it was about but I do remember it got published I was just feeling her. It wasn’t until I moved to NYC that my heart really went out to this woman. It was after her husband committed suicide She stood to lose everything that was Joan Rivers  and not so much because of his suicide, I think that as strong as she is, she would have gotten through that but it was the way it was played out in the media. I saw this woman cry and rage on at the people who were trying to bring her down because of his suicide. She stood to lose everything or should I say most of the public and those people in Hollywood who had power wanted to see her lose everything, but she stayed. She stayed strong, fought back, pushed her way back to the top on her own terms and I was with her all the way cheering her on from her return to Broadway in Homeward Bound – where they made her audition! She was fabulous and I know because I sat in that audience to support her. It was for me phenomenal! Then came her talk show which won an Emmy and after that she was back and on her way up! I watched all that and smiled and laughed with her all the way. She never knew me personally but I knew her and that made it special. I think all her fans felt special, she made us feel special. I didn’t care what fell out of Joan’s mouth and neither did she it was funny. Joan dared and as a comedian you have to dare. In this world we live in of political correctness and watch your tongue or you’ll have to go an apologize to the masses – Joan Rivers said she did comedy – Laugh or not! Was who she was. She didn’t care and people are the funniest things to laugh at and Joan honed right in on that.

I miss her like everyone else who loved her does but her legacy down here on earth will live beyond time and space. You know what, the woman was such an comedy Icon, when I heard that she was in the hospital, in an induced coma, and then on life support – I said to my best friend Thomas Evans! What if this is was one of Joan Rivers jokes – You know that Bitch will do anything to get a laugh and pull one over on us and what a big hoax it would have been – She would have pulled off a Houdini of a joke! I know part of that was me wanting it be a joke. Please God let it be a big Joan Rivers joke because I coulnd’t imagine a world without Joan Rivers but sadly this was not a joke the Queen of Comedy is dead!

I have an old vinyl record of Joan’s from back in the day. It’s from 1987! No making fun of me here okay! I used to listen to over and over and over again. I’m going to pull it out this weekend in honor of her and give a listen again and laugh some more. Like I said she left a lot of laughter down here on earth for us and I’m going to laugh until I cry because that’s what she made me do even when I wasn’t having the best day.

Joan – Fly free, Fly fast, Fly beyond comprehension. Take your place among the mountains and the sea’s and  be delivered unto the stars of which you have always been!

James Pearson

348 West 49th St. Chapter 5

Sui-Lon was busying around in her apartment when her house phone rang. It was the doorman calling her to tell   her that two detectives were coming up to see her. She hung up the house phone and simply waited patiently for them to come up when she heard the knock on the door she opened it up immediately and before she could say come in one of the detectives picked her up and started  twirling her little body around like a rag doll and kissing her on the cheek. Then he put her down “ Do you know how long I’ve known Sui-Lon? What is it about 10 years?” As he put her down she shook herself off from  all the love he was showing her and smiled and nodded her head  in agreement.” Yes David’s like a big brother to me.”

Det. Little who was taken aback by their  familiarity said – Oh yeah! So you two are like family right.” He reached out to shake her hand as Detective Larabee introduced them.

“Yes David has been to more family gatherings with me than I can count. My mother expects him at every family event and ask about him if he’s a no-show. She just loves him.

Det. Little took out his pad and pencil and went right into detective mode not seeming to care much about the two of them knowing each other so well. He was a little surprised that his partner of many years failed to mention this little fact to him. “ Sui-Lon I am pretty sure that you know why we are here. We are questioning a few people in the building regarding Rebecca Krampf. Now as I understand from the police officer’s at the scene that night, Rebecca was supposed to attend a dinner party here with you and some friends.

Sui –Lon responded to him unimpressed with his detective skills.” Yes that’s right. It wasn’t really a dinner party though. It was just an impromptu kind of spur of the moment thing.”

Det. Larabee interrupted them dismissing the idea that Sui-Lon’s cooking could be anything less than “spur of the moment.

“Spur of the moment dinner my ass!  You gotta taste Sui-Lon’s cooking. She can cook anything.”

Still taking notes Detective Little said . “That’s right Larabee tells me that you own your own catering company. Sui-Lon’s Kitchen Right?” He thought to himself that it was interesting that his partner had told him about that but nothing else about their personal relationship. He figured that bit of information about her catering company came from detective work.

Det. Larabee started talking before  Sui-Lon before could respond. “That’s right. She has an office and a whole kitchen set up down in Tribeca and her cooking to die for.” He put his fingers to his mouth and spreads them out like he’s an Italian chef giving the mark of approval for good food.

Sui-Lon acting all embarrassed,  “Ah come on you flatter me David. By the way you guy’s hungry? Dave you know that I can whip something up for you two in a matter of minutes.”

Det. Larabee smiled all big and manly. “Now come on Sui’ don’t tempt me. You know how hard it is for me to resist your cooking.  We grabbed something on the way over here though.”

Det. Little who was still playing detective wasn’t to happy about his partners behavior considering that Sui-Lon with in his eyes – a person of interest. “We’re going to need a list of everyone who was here that night.”

“Sure not a problem.”  Sui-Lon said to him. She gave him all the names. As he was writing them down on his pad he said to her. “ I understand that the deceased’s children Hunter and Cole were here too?”

“Yes that’s right. Dinner was kind of a last-minute thing. Rebecca couldn’t get a-hold of her regular baby-sitter so I just told her to bring them down.”

“ And how did they come to be here at your apartment without their mother?”

“ She said that she had a couple of things to do before she could come over. So to free her up, I told her to send the boy’s ahead. They have been here before. I met them at the elevator and brought them in. Hunter likes to help me cook. (She laughs.) – Cole and Marc set the table. They are really great kids and smart too.”

Det. Larabee spoke up to reassure his friend. “Sui’ now you know that this line of questioning is just procedure with a case like this.”

Sui-Lon trying to sound like she wasn’t probing said. “Yes I know. It’s not a problem. Anything that I can do to help is fine with me. Still a few un-answered questions I suppose.” She didn’t want to make it sound like a question but she was hoping he would give her a little something.

“Just trying to close up a few loose ends is all.” He said  not about to give up anything to her.

Not giving up herself she said. “Yes I see. What was the M.E.’s determination as to the cause of death?”

Both of the detectives looked at each other and laughed. “Look out! She’s quick. She’s been hanging around me to long”. Det. Larabee said still laughing.

Sui-Lon laughing with them, “I guess that I have.”

Det. Little put his pad and pencil away and stood up.  “Well I guess that we better get going. We have all we need for now.”

Det. Larabee  stood up too. “Yeah   Sui’ listen if we have more questions we’ll give you a call all right sis?”

Sui-Lon gets up and walks them to the door. “Of course and hey you know where I live.”

The three of them laugh . Det. Little shakes her hand. Det. Larabee  gives Sui-Lon a hug and while he’s hugging her she whispers in his ear. “Keep me informed.”

He whispers back. “We’ll do. I’ll call you tonight.” They break from their embrace and she opens the door.

“It was nice to meet you Sui-Lon. I look forward to sampling some of your cooking.”

“You’ll never eat your wife’s cooking…I’ll tell you that boy…hmmm..”

“Ahh come on David don’t tell him that.” She said waving her hand at him to stop.

“I’m not kidding. Why do you think that I never got married?” He playfully pokes Det. Little in the ribs. He gave Sui-lon another big hug and as they leave Sui-Lon stands at the door waiting until they get on the elevator. She goes back into her apartment walks into her office and touches the mouse on her computer to bring it up from stand-by mode. She writes a quick e-mail to John and presses send. Her phone rings.

Sui-Lon – Hello.

“Hi girl Guess whose back?”

“Simone…Welcome home girl. When did you get in? Sui-Lon said with a great big smile on her face.

“I just got in. I decided to take an early flight home. I did enjoy Israel though. The culture and the history..ahhh…It took my breath away….many times. So did the men “hello!”

“I am sure that you have a lot to tell me.”

“That I do girl…That I do! Where is John? I tried calling him. There was no answer. No surprise…(She laughs.) – But I sent him a few e-mails before I left Israel and he has not responded to any of them. That’s not like him. Is he all right?’

Sui-Lon paused.  “Hmm…Simone where do I begin? Listen how soon can you get down here?”

Sounding concerned Simone said.  “Is it that deep girl? Well I have to call my general manager see how business is going at my salons. (She hesitates.) – Oh what the hell that’s what I hired him for… I’ll be down at your apartment in about five minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting. I’ll put on some tea.”

“Herbal ?”

“What else?”

“See you in 5.”

 

It’s early morning and as Devon and Emmie are getting ready for their perspective busy day. The phone rings Emmie goes over to answers it.

“Oh hi dad. It’s good to hear your voice too. (She giggles in response to his comment.) – Yes I am. How is mom? Ahh ok send her my love too. I have a photo shoot this morning 10:00a.m. but I should be done by then. Okay sure. I love you too. Hold on. I’ll get him for you.”

She puts the phone on hold and walks into the bathroom. Devon is just getting out of the shower. She nuzzles up behind him and wraps her arms around him as he continues to dry himself off. He nuzzles her back.

“Honey cut that out or I’ll never leave.” He says to her all smiles.

“That’ll be fine with me but I can’t cancel this shoot. And you know I don’t do quickies. (She laughs.) – Honey it’s the phone.”

“Who is it?” Devon ask still drying himself off.

“It’s your father.”

Devon stopped  drying  himself and throws the towel down on the floor. “Ahh damn!! Not right now..Tell him I’m sleeping.”

“Now honey be nice…I all ready told him that you’re going to pick-up.”

Devon cringes and shudders. “Okay I’ll pick-up. What the hell does he want?” He picks the towel up from the floor and wraps it around him.

Emmie shrugs her shoulders. “What makes you think that I know? Hurry up honey he’s been on hold for way to many minutes now. “She pushes him out of the bathroom and over to the phone.

“What makes me think that you know? Because “Hello!” He tells you everything.”

He picks up the phone and as he picks it up Emmie takes the towel from around his waist leaving him totally exposed. She burst out laughing and so does he.

Trying to compose himself “ Hi dad. Oh nothing. I’m fine dad. What? I’m not sure if we can make it dad. Let me check with Emmie. Okay if she already told you that she would be available at that time. (He makes an exaggerated face at Emmie and sticks his tongue out at her. She covers her mouth so that she want laugh out loud at him in his pending situation.) – Okay dad then we’ll be there. 8:00 p.m. Okay. No dad I can’t talk to mom right now. I have an early morning meeting with the exec’s. Tell mom that I love her and I’ll see you both tonight. Okay- Okay.(trying his  to get off the phone.) – I gotta go dad love you. Bye.” He slammed down the phone and let out a heavy sigh of exasperation.

“Give me that towel.” He said trying to compose himself.

“Come over here and get it.”

He moved in close to her and wrapped the both of them up into the towel. He looks over at their grandfather clock and eyes the time. “Honey I think that we have enough time for some..(He winks at her.) –fun.”

“Cut it out honey. I don’t have time. I told you already. You know how I feel about “quickies.”

“Honey I never do anything quick.” He said with a crazy sexy look in his eyes.

She playfully pushes him away and herself out of the towel. ”I know that but I have to be going in a few minutes. I’m sure that the car is all ready down-stairs waiting for me.”

Reluctantly giving up Devon wraps himself up in the towel. “All right I’ll finish getting ready too.”

“So your father is being honored tonight by his peers on “Broadway” at the Ritz Carlton and we’re going. You want to talk about it?”

Letting out a heavy sigh and not wanting to talk about it.  “Not really honey. Not right now. Let’s just go tonight, make a showing and leave as soon as possible.”

Emmie knowing when to leave well enough alone especially when it comes to his father said. “Okay baby. He loves you…you know?”

“Yeah I know. I can’t be what he wants me to be. I can’t be him.”

“I think it’s that..(She pauses.) – As you said let’s leave it alone for now.”

She picks up her wrap, grabs her bag and walks over to Devon and gives him a deep passionate kiss. He kisses her back pulling her closer to him. “Stay a few minutes longer hun.” He says with a little pleading in his voice.

She pulls away playfully. “Sweetheart I have to run down to the car. Now stop it. I told you that I have to go.”

Giving up he says. “Okay. I’ll meet you back here at 6p.m. Then we can head over to the Carlton.”

“All right darling. Any problems we’ll “cell” each other. Have a good day.”

“You too hun. I love you.”

“I love you too.”