Tag: death

Interview with Jesus – Part 1

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Hello, Jesus Now, when I thought about doing this interview, my first concern was where on earth would I find you and turns out you found me. I mean, it seems that you are all over the place.

Well, James, I am happy that you sought me out. I tend to be very busy, especially around your Christian Holidays. You have so many of them.

You mean they’re not yours? Christ – Christian. They were respectfully named for you.

James, while I appreciate the sentiment behind the name, I would never have wanted these holidays celebrated in my name. Especially that one you all call Easter. I mean for God’s sake! It’s okay if I say that, right?

Jesus laughs.
Of course, he is your Father, right! If anyone has the right to say it, it should be you. Please go on.

“Well, the Easter holiday you “Christians” celebrate was no celebration for me. I was hung on a cross butchered as it were, and I tell you it is no pleasure having that thrown up in my face all the time. That killed me. Of course, I came back but still that hurt like hell. Something I do not like reliving. So for those of you out there listening, the crosses I see all over the world not fun to see. Reminders of the horrible pain and suffering I had to go through.”

So this displeases you?

Yes, Let’s say that I’ve moved on from that, closure is what you all call it.

Well, Jesus, can you tell me and our listening audience what you have been up to since, well since you departed the earth. I mean, you haven’t been physically seen since well in hundreds of thousands of years.

OMG – Jesus smiles – “didn’t know that I was familiar with your – Net-centric abbreviation for the popular exclamation “Oh my God!” I think it’s essential to keep up. So you might say that’s what I have been doing all this time. Keeping up with the world just fighting the good fight as it were.

Jesus, that’s a bit vague; can you be a little more forthcoming, please?

James, I feel like if I say too much, I will have all these expectations put on me, and while I do have power over the earth land and sea as it were by telling you I kind of show my hand and I like to surprise.

(Jesus laughs)

Why are you laughing?

Well, I find it funny that you humans enjoy a pleasant surprise at least that’s what I hear and see, of course, but you can’t seem to wait for things when you pray. You have no idea how many requests I get in a second, and it’s usually the same people asking for the same things over and over again. It’s a wonder I’m not schizophrenic.

Okay, then moving on, I am going to ask you a series of questions about what’s going on, and I expect you to be brutally honest as possible.

Of course, I only know how to speak the truth; after all, I am the arbiter of truth, love, and honesty, so please go right ahead.

What do you have to say about the current White House situation?

That has nothing to do with me. My Father and I tend to stay out of your politics. Let me say this though in all your Presidential elections since 1778, have there been so many prayer requests.

Were they for or against him?

Him?

Well, you know Trump.

I don’t wish to choose sides, but just let me say that you all should have known better.

Jesus, what do you mean?

James comes on the man tweets for goodness sake; he’s a well-known megalomaniac.

So you don’t care for him either?

Well, I am Jesus, so I forgive and am understanding, but I have to take one of your human adages: If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all!

Well, Jesus, what can we do to make things better in the White House under this current regime? I mean, can you at least tell us what direction we need to go into does praying help?

Prayer is always good. We are still listening, but it’s you who must do. You have stopped Doing. You have become a nation of talkers, pundits, influencers, and such. Take a page from your 1960’s history. That was a good time for you, humans. You had sit-ins, revolts, You not only talked but you acted and changed happened. I enjoyed watching human growth during that period.

You liked that, did you?

Absolutely you broke down barriers; you used the strength that Father gave you to move mountains. You like that. Thought that I would take you back to the days of old. Those were some excellent times in human history too. You have come along way, but in this century, you remain to stagnate STOP talking and DO people.

Wow, advise from Jesus.

“Jesus nods, and smile’s almost chuckling.”

Ask me anything I’m pretty much an open book.
Speaking of books. Let’s talk about the Bible.

“Jesus stood up!”

Dear God! I’m going to need a short break before we get into that.

Okay – whatever you say!

Pauses tape

To be continued

 

James Pearson

Joan Rivers Tribute – A laugh heard around the world!

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I arrive in heaven and who’s standing at the door God, St. Peter? – NO Johnny Carson! Yesss! I think how sweet he’s waiting for me, to greet me right?? NO he tells me he’s waiting for Jay Leno – YES!!! He’s doing late night up here in heaven. Can you believe it! He’s waiting on Jay so that he can fill in for him. He’s been needing some time off. So it’s heaven right putting the past behind me I say to him – I’ll do it until he gets here!  Johnny : Well I guess that’s alright but as soon as he arrives you’re out of here! YESSSS!! Nothing ever changes!

So I’m walking around heaven and I see a sign overhead. The sign  says Jewish Heaven and Christian Heaven. Yeah I know separation even in heaven! So of course I walk over to where? Yes,  the Jewish heaven and who is there? Now I know the bitch is Christian but there she stands with and entire Brisket in her hand – Elizabeth Taylor! YESSSS! I couldn’t believe it. “Joan darling welcome! There is so much more food on this side of heaven and Joan please No fat jokes up here!” She says sucking down that Brisket – Are you fucking kidding me!!!  I look over see a roasted lamb shankbone on the table I pick it up and chase her out of Jewish heaven. She takes off running but not before she grabs some matzoh, and just as she’s about to cross over to Christian Heaven she snatches the Lamb shankbone out of my hand!

Yeah – So it’s like a who’s who of celebrity’s up here in heaven.  Whitney Houston, Ruby Dee, Casey Kasem, James Brown – yes can you believe  it James Brown – He’s constantly walking around here saying “say it loud ,– I’m black and I’m proud. You know that Michael Jackson has always Idolized him. So I’m standing here in heaven talking to James Brown and who moon walks over?  Hi Joan – he say’s all sweet and Michael Jackson sounding but I’m not too sure. I say hello because I don’t really recognize him. “He’s Black!”

Okay – Shut Up. I have one more – Robin Williams says to me Joan Darling look at you! You’re looking fabulous as usual!  Looks like we both bit the big one! I look at him – Is he out of his fucking mind! I died!! — Ohhh shhh! Shut Up too soon!!

A mere imitation of Joan Rivers! What is it that they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery!  Once I’m able to fine tune them maybe they’d sound more like Joan Rivers. Someone wrote on their Facebook  page that she’s up there making them laugh. Well that might be true but she was down here longer and she left more than a lifetime of laughter. I miss her something fierce. Allow me a little bragging rights for a moment. I got to meet Joan (very briefly) It was early morning in New York and I was coming out of Penn Station and there she stood in all her fabulousness with her grandson, as her chauffeur was putting their luggage into the car. I said hello Joan – like I knew her and it felt like I did. She waved and said “Hello darling.” I had died and gone to heaven.

I have been a fan of this lady since I was a child. I even wrote an article about her in my local hometown paper. It was so long ago I don’t even remember what it was about but I do remember it got published I was just feeling her. It wasn’t until I moved to NYC that my heart really went out to this woman. It was after her husband committed suicide She stood to lose everything that was Joan Rivers  and not so much because of his suicide, I think that as strong as she is, she would have gotten through that but it was the way it was played out in the media. I saw this woman cry and rage on at the people who were trying to bring her down because of his suicide. She stood to lose everything or should I say most of the public and those people in Hollywood who had power wanted to see her lose everything, but she stayed. She stayed strong, fought back, pushed her way back to the top on her own terms and I was with her all the way cheering her on from her return to Broadway in Homeward Bound – where they made her audition! She was fabulous and I know because I sat in that audience to support her. It was for me phenomenal! Then came her talk show which won an Emmy and after that she was back and on her way up! I watched all that and smiled and laughed with her all the way. She never knew me personally but I knew her and that made it special. I think all her fans felt special, she made us feel special. I didn’t care what fell out of Joan’s mouth and neither did she it was funny. Joan dared and as a comedian you have to dare. In this world we live in of political correctness and watch your tongue or you’ll have to go an apologize to the masses – Joan Rivers said she did comedy – Laugh or not! Was who she was. She didn’t care and people are the funniest things to laugh at and Joan honed right in on that.

I miss her like everyone else who loved her does but her legacy down here on earth will live beyond time and space. You know what, the woman was such an comedy Icon, when I heard that she was in the hospital, in an induced coma, and then on life support – I said to my best friend Thomas Evans! What if this is was one of Joan Rivers jokes – You know that Bitch will do anything to get a laugh and pull one over on us and what a big hoax it would have been – She would have pulled off a Houdini of a joke! I know part of that was me wanting it be a joke. Please God let it be a big Joan Rivers joke because I coulnd’t imagine a world without Joan Rivers but sadly this was not a joke the Queen of Comedy is dead!

I have an old vinyl record of Joan’s from back in the day. It’s from 1987! No making fun of me here okay! I used to listen to over and over and over again. I’m going to pull it out this weekend in honor of her and give a listen again and laugh some more. Like I said she left a lot of laughter down here on earth for us and I’m going to laugh until I cry because that’s what she made me do even when I wasn’t having the best day.

Joan – Fly free, Fly fast, Fly beyond comprehension. Take your place among the mountains and the sea’s and  be delivered unto the stars of which you have always been!

James Pearson