This year has already begun and yet I feel like I am at a stand still. With so much to look forward to in 2011 I find that perhaps I am a bit overwhelmed. What to do? What to do? Is the question. It seems I am always doing something but because it’s a New Year it doesn’t seem like it’s enough. Ideas of grandeur, extravaganzas, pomp and circumstance, a 21 gun salute – better make that 22. It is after all a New Year.

 Every thing falls into question for me in the New Year. Did I turn this corner correctly? Should I be taking all these vitamins or should I increase my green leafy vegetable in-take? Am I doing enough exercise? Am I running enough to qualify for the marathon this year? I am going to run the marathon this year right?

 Even the simple things in the New Year seem daunting. I don’t want to wear solid colors this year. I am thinking of switching it up a bit perhaps plaid would work? Ugh that is so 1960’s or was it 1970’s – no matter it is certainly not 2011 and that’s what I am reaching for the newness, new beginnings and brand new starts. Buy more dress shoes and get away from sneakers? Then what about running and the gym? Is casual dress still working for me or should I try to force myself into dressing up in a suit more often? Why for what reason? Who am I trying to impress? Try leaving my bed un-made when I get up in the morning, let the laundry sit for more than a week, leave dirty dishes in the sink for a few days. Yeah right just the thought of doing those things makes me want to vomit and then clean that up immediately too. I am a clean freak. Changing me in the New Year – Fascinating yes? Chasing dreams to find the real me in 2011.

 So then I start to question this New Years resolution idea. I resolve to become something that I am not because the New Year begs it to be so. I think not! I will however try to be the best that I can be. I will try to find a new road without trying to force someone else off of it. I will love and continue to be loved without asking for something in return. I will look both ways as I help someone cross the street. I will be just as defiant in life and it’s causes and how it will benefit the world and I will sleep a little bit sounder at night in this 2011 knowing that things can go wrong, life can repeat itself and whisper reminders stay in our dreams but the next 12 months march on with no regrets but with so much more to be thankful for and at the end of it I can say I told you so in 2011.

James Pearson