Back in the day a gay man found his date/mate at a club, bar, truck stops, (Don’t act like you don’t know) the park – late at night (again, don’t act like you don’t know!) and porno theaters. Those were the days or were they?
I say no because it kept us in the closet scared, afraid and lurking in the shadows. Now today we are in the light, full force and out in the open even more so with the internet and on-line dating. I find myself wanting to talk about this because I saw a guy at the gym, hair coiffed and pulled back so tight that he must have had the same hair gel that DJ Pauly D from that reality television show The Jersey Shore uses. He was wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt and matching fashionable sweatpants definitely accentuating his butt. Hey I’m sorry but you just couldn’t help but look at it! He would get on the treadmill and he would start to run, his hair wouldn’t move and he wouldn’t allow himself to break a sweat meanwhile I was sweating like a dog. I was so bothered by this man coming to the gym all powdered, perfumed, coiffed and in full fashion fitness wear. Who does he think he is? This is a gym. I would say to myself. He is obviously here to be picked up or to find a man. It was annoying me. Each and every time I would see this man at the gym, I would shake my head and laugh at him and make fun and nudge my good friend Dwayne who also thought it was a bit over the top. Then one day I had an epiphany.
What’s so wrong with this guy coming to the gym and looking his best? Is it so horrible that he might meet and connect with possibly the love of his life at the gym? Why was I being so judgemental? He’s just dating/meeting out loud and proud. The way it should be. What once was not available to us to find a date – church, supermarkets, laundromats, work, weddings, conferences and conventions and yes as I have learned the gym are now avaliable to us and the best thing about it is we don’t have to hide it anymore. And as you know and I am sure that heterosexuals know, whether they are willing to admit it or not, you never know where one of us might turn up because we are everywhere. While bars and nightclubs are still the obvious choices they are fast becoming not the norm to meet a quality mate. Today lightning can strike any where for us even in a gym and that makes me feel good and empowered as a gay man. So I would like to thank Mr. cute, coiffed and fashion conscious gym boy for bringing me more into the light of gay!
James Pearson
Jpearson589's Blog 
Guess what, I met the sweetheart I am dating now at the gym. Although I looked awful the day I met him. So the moral of this story is that you do not have to look perfect to find a nice one, you can look awful too. 😉
Thanks James.
You know…I have lived on the UES the entire tenure of my life in NYC (exact number of years is not up for discussion). All this time, I have been asked and often would ask myself – why do I not leave the UES (the world of the rich old white woman) and move to Chelsea or Hells Kitchen?
My typical comment had always been ‘because I simply do not want to deal with having to do my hair and dress to impress just to cross the street or if I am doing my laundry at the laundromat’. Over the years, my answer has seemed to shift, change, or perhaps even evolve and mature. Now, my reply is I have a cute apt and like my neighborhood. I have come to realize that I do not need to live in the gay ghetto to feel I am part of something or because that is the only place to meet another gay man. (BTW readers, I am single). 🙂
James, I applaud your reflection on Mr. Cute and your ability to recognize perhaps our own (meaning us gay men’s) prejudices about staying in the closet. Thank you for sharing and for inspiring the rest of us to question our own ‘old school’ judgemental thinking.
Anthony
child this is a great blog . . . it is gay to be gay . . i love being gay. . i love who i am . . O MY GAY GOD !!!!! . Now where the hell is my hubby? I wouldnt mind it if he was at the gym. I want my lighting and i want it NOWWWWWWWW ! !
ps dont let Jeffery read this he will cut your ass LOL
you are the cats meow ! ! ! prrrrr kitty prrrrrrrr
Love your article. I just want to know when lighting is going strike me. I go every where thinking I am going to meet Mr. right. I go to straight bars thinking I may hit a home run.. I just need to meet Mr right. I think there are so many hot men out there. I love talking with men and networking. I have to totally agree that gay men are everywhere today… Forget the gay bars that yesterday news…I still keeping the faith that Mr. Right will come long maybe in the stranges place.
Thank for the article. I talk to a real Woof at the Tea Party yesterday.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. Lighting will strike for you when you least expect it my friend. Give it time and breathe through it! In the mean time do not give up and become jaded. Continue to push forward… good things don’t always happen in a instance!
James
Hi, James…
It’s so wonderful to see you blogging. I hope all is going well and you are enjoying this wonderful weather.
Kindest,
Greg H. : p
Greggy,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog! When I am asked why I chose WordPress I credit you and it’s great being on here. So wonderful to hear from you. You popped into my head about a week ago – I was wondering how you were doing and I smiled.
I am totally enjoying this weather. I am so looking forward to the summer.
Stay in touch!
James Pearson
I really do like it!!!.Honnest and you make me realise that new fact about new gay place to flirt !! anyway it was like an episode of Sex in the City in my head… cheers
Alex from Québec !!!